Funny Quotes Joe Vs the Volcano

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Quotes

• Joe Banks : Dear God, whose name I do not know - cheers for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life.

• Baggage Salesman : This is our premier steamer trunk, information technology'southward all handmade, merely the finest materials. It's even watertight, tight every bit a drum. If I had the demand, and the wherewithal, Mr. Banks, this would exist my torso of choice.

  Joe Banks : I'll take four of them.

  Baggage Salesman : May you live to be a thousand years old, sir.

• Angelica : Would you lot like to hear one of my poems?

  Joe Banks : Sure.

  Angelica : Long agone, the frail tangles of his hair... covered the emptiness of my paw... Would you like to hear it again?

  Joe Banks : Ok.

  Angelica : Long ago, the fragile tangles of his hair... covered the emptiness of my hand.

• Joe Banks : You look terrible, Mr. Waturi. You await like a bag of shit stuffed in a cheap accommodate. Non that anyone could look good under these zombie lights. I, I, I, I can feel them sucking the juice out of my eyeball. Suck, suck, suck, SUCK...

  [makes a sucking noise]

  Joe Banks : For 300 bucks a week, that's the news. For 300 bucks a week, I've lived in this sink, this used safety.

  Mr. Waturi : Yous watch it, mister! In that location'south a adult female here!

  Joe Banks : [shouting] Don't you call up I know that, Frank? Don't you lot recall I am aware there is a woman here? I can smell her, like, similar a flower. I can taste her, similar sugar on my tongue. When I'm 20 feet away I can hear the fabric of her dress when she moves in her chair!

• Joe Banks : What'due south that? A teddy deport?

  Waponi Chief : It'south my soul.

  Joe Banks : Oh, I hope y'all don't lose it.

  Waponi Chief : Me too.

• Joe Banks : I saw the moon when we where out in that location on the body of water. Shinning downward on everything. I've been miserable for and so long. Years of my life wasted. For you. Been a long time comin' here to met you lot. A long time, on a kleptomaniacal road.

• Marshall : They only pay me to drive the limo, sir. I'one thousand not here to tell you who you are.

  Joe Banks : I didn't ask you to tell me who I am.

  Marshall : You were hinting effectually virtually dress. That happens to be a very important topic to me, sir. Clothes, Mr...

  Joe Banks : Banks.

  Marshall : Banks. Dress brand the man. I believe that. You lot say to me you lot want to go shopping, you want to buy clothes, but you don't know what kind. You exit that hanging in the air, similar I'm going to fill in the blank, that to me is like request me who you are, and I don't know who you are, I don't want to know. It'southward taken me my whole life to notice out who I am, and I'thou tired now, you hear what I'm saying?

• Joe Banks : I take less than six months to live. The Waponis believe they need a human sacrifice or their island is going to sink into the ocean. They take this mineral your father wants so he hired me to leap into their volcano.

  Patricia : What?

  Joe Banks : You're not going to make me say that once again, are y'all?

• Luggage Salesman : Have y'all idea much nearly luggage, Mr. Banks?

  Joe Banks : No.

  Luggage Salesman : It's the central preoccupation of my life.

• Waponi Principal : Practice you want to marry him?

  Patricia : Yes.

  Waponi Chief : Practice you desire to marry her?

  Joe Banks : Yes.

  Waponi Chief : Expert. You lot're married.

  Joe Banks : [shaking the Master'south manus] Thanks, Master.

  Patricia : Thank you, Chief.

  Waponi Primary : I'm going now.

• [Joe is about to leap into the volcano]

  Patricia : I dear you!

  Joe Banks : I love you lot, as well! I've never been in dear with anybody earlier, either! It'south smashing! I'chiliad glad! But the timing stinks.

  [kisses her on the cheek]

  Joe Banks : I've gotta go.

• Patricia : I wonder where we'll terminate up?

  Joe Banks : Abroad from the things of human being, my beloved. Abroad from the things of human.

• [Joe and Marshall are both wearing Armani tuxedos]

  Joe Banks : Feel like I'one thousand getting married.

  Marshall : I feel like I'm giving you away.

• Dr. Ellison : And what did you do in the fire department?

  Joe Banks : Well... I put out fires.

• Marshall : What kinda clothes do you got now?

  Joe Banks : Well, I got the kinda clothes I'grand wearing.

  Marshall : So you got no dress.

• Joe Banks : And and so I'll be staying on a tiny isle and I don't know if I'll exist living in a hut, or what.

  Baggage Salesman : Very exciting... equally a luggage problem!

• Joe Banks : And why, I ask myself, why have I put upwards with you? I tin can't imagine, merely at present I know. Fear. Yellow freakin' fear. I've been besides craven shit agape to alive my life so I sold information technology to you for three hundred freakin' dollars a week!

• Angelica : So, what did you do before yous signed on with Daddy?

  Joe Banks : I was an advertising librarian for a medical supply company.

  Angelica : Oh, I have no response to that.

• Angelica : You must be tired.

  Joe Banks : I don't heed talking.

  Angelica : Well, I do! This is ane of those typical conversations where we're all open up and sharing our innermost thoughts and it's all bullshit and a prevarication and it doesn't cost *you* anything!

• Joe Banks : I've never been to 50.A. before.

  Angelica : What do you think?

  Joe Banks : Information technology looks fake. I like it!

• Joe Banks : So I'm not sick? Except for this last illness?

• Joe Banks : And Frank, the coffee. It stinks. It tastes like arsenic. These lights give me a headache; if they don't give you a headache, y'all must exist dead, then let's adapt the funeral!

• Joe Banks : Marshall?

  Marshall : Yeah.

  Joe Banks : I was wondering if you'd have dinner with me tonight.

  Marshall : I can't do that; I got the married woman and kids at the terminate of the day.

  Joe Banks : Yeah...

  Marshall : Mind, own't you lot got nobody?

  Joe Banks : No. But there are certain times in your life when I guess y'all're not supposed to have anybody, yous know? At that place are sure doors you have to go through alone.

  Marshall : ...You're gonna be all right.

• Joe Banks : I bribed them to sing a song that would drive the states insane and make our hearts swell and burst.

• Joe Banks : What'due south the affair?

  Angelica : Did you ever call back nigh killing yourself?

  Joe Banks : What... Why would y'all do that?

  Angelica : Why shouldn't I?

  Joe Banks : Considering some things take intendance of themselves. They're non your job; maybe they're non fifty-fifty your business organisation.

• Samuel Harvey Graynamore : Y'all got any whiskey?

  Joe Banks : No.

  Samuel Harvey Graynamore : I want to hire you Joe Banks. I want to hire you - to spring into a volcano.

  Joe Banks : Eh, you know... I practice have some whiskey.

• Joe Banks : I tell y'all one affair, though. Wherever nosotros go, whatever we do, we're gonna have this luggage with us!

• Patricia : That outfit's wearing yous, Felix.

  Joe Banks : Why are yous calling me Felix. My name is Joe.

  Patricia : I am calling you Felix considering I practice what I want.

• DeDe : Hello Joe, what'south with the shoe?

  Joe Banks : I'm losing my sole.

  DeDe : Yeah.

• Joe Banks : Who am I? That's the real question, isn't information technology? Who-who am I? Who are you! What other questions are there? What other questions are at that place, really! You want to sympathise the universe? Embrace the universe. The door to the universe is y'all.

• Joe Banks : I even so accept a problem. I accept a encephalon deject.

  Patricia : A encephalon cloud... what is a brain cloud?

  Joe Banks : Information technology'due south - well, mayhap I should go a 2d opinion.

  Patricia : You didn't get a 2nd stance on something called a brain cloud? I hateful what are you, a hypochondriac?

• Samuel Harvey Graynamore : There'southward an island in the South Pacific called Waponi Woo. The name means little isle with a large volcano. At present, the Waponis are a cheerful people who live a simple beingness, fishing in the lagoon, picking fruit. Their one fearfulness is that big volcano. They call it the big Woo. They believe, that an angry burn god in the volcano volition sink the island! Unless, once every 100 years he is appeased. It'due south been 99 years, xi months and xi days since the fire god got his propers and the Waponis are scared!

  Joe Banks : How is the god appeased?

  Samuel Harvey Graynamore : Of his own complimentary volition, a human being'due south got to spring into the volcano.

• Marshall : Where to? Back to Staten Isle?

  Joe Banks : No, no. Ah, a really nice hotel. The Plaza.

  Marshall : The Plaza's nice.

  Joe Banks : Well, where would you get?

  Marshall : I'd go to The Pierre.

  Joe Banks : And so, we are off to The Pierre.

• Joe Banks : Where exercise you get your ideas?

  Angelica : You have to sympathise something virtually art. It comes from someplace.

• Joe Banks : Looks a little weird today, huh?

  Dagmar : There'south a draft warning. Proficient morning, Mr. Banks.

  Joe Banks : Skilful forenoon, Dagmar.

  Dagmar : Looks like we're in for a blow.

• Joe Banks : And so, what are we hoping for here?

  Patricia : A miracle.

• Joe Banks : [shouting] Take me... to... the volcano!

• Patricia : I wonder where nosotros'll end upward?

  Joe Banks : Fell abroad from the things of man, Noah. Away from the things of man.

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099892/characters/nm0000158

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